| dance dance revolution |
[May. 17th, 2005|02:44 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  silly | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sarina Paris - Look At Us | ] |
hey everyone... it's been awhile since I updated this thing.
I bet you wanna know what's up? Not too much actually. My tenure at UMR ended, as you know, in November of last year.
Right now I'm an assistant manager for PacSun in Jefferson City and hoping to expand to Associate from there. For now I'm still not sure what I want to do with the rest of my life--that's open to suggestions at the moment. For the record I haven't ruled out going back to school.
Anyway, I should probably be getting to bed since I have to work in the AM--but what would be the fun in that? :) If you guys decide that you want me to keep posting you should post a comment under this post. Did I say post enough times or should I say post even more?
For now, Sarina Paris is keeping me company and I can't wait to hear from you guys. Thanks for supporting me through this... interesting period of my life :) |
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| life change |
[Nov. 20th, 2004|03:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Opus 73, Piano Concerto No. 5 in E-flat major | ] |
Okay, so I haven't written in awhile. I feel kind of bad for leaving you guys with nothing to read about my life... so, for your entertainment, hear I lay again to write a really heavy entry.
I made a major life change this week. I have to accept the things people are going to say about it no matter how hurtful they may seem. I need to be comfortable with the decision I made and move on and try to live this never ending multipiece puzzle we call life.
I dropped out of college for the second time.
I'm not stupid, I can get through the classes but it seems I haven't the drive to do so. I can't find anything I want to do with my life, I just want to live it. I don't feel like I need to waste four years of my life getting a degree that's going to cost me $65,000 -- a degree that I'll be paying off for the next 10-20 years while I sit in a job making 25-30,000 per year.
It just doesn't seem economical to me.
I need my friends to support the decisions I made and not say hurtful things like "Do you want to stay in Jefferson City forever?" or "Do you want to work at Gap or jcrew the rest of your life?" If I want to go back to school, I will. Some people need to understand that if I have the drive to do something and I want it bad enough, I will get it. Another thing... people that work at Gap or jcrew or Starbucks or Home Depot or any other retail establishment are not dumb. If they weren't there you wouldn't be able to buy your pretty clothes or fix your house.
Folks that work in retail, casual dining or any occupation for that matter are not losers. Everyone has their place in society, that's the way it is and the way it belongs.
I don't want to be the CEO of a company. I don't want to be a scientist. I don't want to be an engineer. If I want to manage a retail store, that's my perogative. There are still people in this world that will be making less money than me with a college degree. Just let me do what I want, let me be happy. I'm doing this for me, not you or my family or my friends. Not anymore. I did college for my family, college for my friends, college for society. This time it's about me and what I want.
Think before you speak. |
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| the bachelor |
[Oct. 27th, 2004|08:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
Proof that guys are assholes can be seen on tonight's episode of the Bachelor on ABC.
I try to remove myself from watching trashy shows like the Bachelor, but there was so much drama in this episode that I couldn't resist.
The bachelor totally led on this girl Jane, so she thought that he was totally in love with her... and honestly so did I. There was some drama that happened in the house because six girls going after the same guy can get pretty cuthroat, I would presume.
I was almost certain that the shallow side of the pool only reared its ugly face in the gay community, but again, I was wrong.
I hate to say the old cliche that all men are pigs, but my life is heading toward that conclusion.
Honestly, however, I don't believe that all men are bad. I think everyone has their good points and their bad points and some people just have more bad points than good points.
I know I'm not perfect, but I wouldn't lead someone on the way this guy did and totally drop them at the end of the week. That's just wrong... what an asshole. |
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| Honoring dates |
[Oct. 23rd, 2004|09:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | frustrated | ] |
So, the relationship police have clubbed me again.
I think at this point it's safe to say that I don't belong in a relationship right now. Fifteen months single... every dating prospect turns to shit.
So what is this entry really about? Well, I shall tell you.
So, Thursday night I go to DaVinci looking pretty bad because I didn't have time to get ready because I was watching the National League Championship Series Game 7 (Cards vs. Astros) The Cardinals ended up winning, which I was glad for. In coming in I noticed some new people and one of them was pretty cute. About an hour and a half later I asked him if he wanted to come to Denny's with most of us in the group as we usually do. So, we arrive there first and I get to talking to him and eventually ask him if he wants to go to dinner sometime and he agreed. Good, right? Keep following. So I kinda flirt with him at the table, tickling, a little leg patting but not much. We decide to leave Denny's and hang out at one of the guy's dorm rooms... so we do... It's me, my friend Josh, cute guy, dorm guy and Dayna. I keep flirting with cute guy and I think all is going pretty well until I see cute guy and dorm guy exchanging glances -- I'm a jealous person, so, of course I was kinda turned off by it (but I never let my jealousy show itself).
Now, this is the part where I tell everyone the friendship code. If one of your friends is interested in somebody, you should let their "dating" run its course before you even try to get with the other person. This is what I expected, that didn't happen.
After a little while Josh and Dayna left and I was there with cute guy and dorm guy. I talked out my life story (abbreviated version) which cute guy fell asleep to -- but it was pretty late. At about 4AM I decided that it was time for me to leave even though dorm guy offered for me to stay and sleep in the other bed. I said no. My car wasn't at the dorm so I was hoping cute guy (who drove me) was going to take me back to my car... but being the naive person I am I decided to say "I don't mind walking" -- to which a person with some etiquette would reply "No, that's okay, I'll drive you" But no.
So I left knowing what was going to happen and it did. So I hear from my spies the two made out and did whatever else... it doesn't even matter. I'm not upset about losing the guy, I'm upset about the circumstances. Tonight I get an IM from one of my exes who just happens to be hanging out with cute guy and apparently him and dorm guy are dating now.
So, the real point of this entry. Cute guy owes me a date but probably won't ever own up to it. I think that's shitty but whatever.
I'm sick of dating altogether and I just want to settle down with a sweet guy that is above all intelligent, drama free and attractive (at least to me). Apparently, this is too much to ask for. I'm going to stop looking now because it's much easier for me to give in to singledom than keep getting my hopes up and then let down over and over again.
Any correspondence to this entry would be well appreciated.
If you've ever seen Bridget Jones's Diary... I'm a real-life Bridget Jones. Spinster extraordinaire. |
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| the greatest guy on Earth |
[Oct. 21st, 2004|08:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  content | ] |
Sometimes I feel kind of like Carrie Bradshaw from Sex In the City when I ponder questions and then write about them. This isn't one of those entries but it came to mind while I thought about something I read in a gay.com profile.
I talked to this guy probably a month ago (he was moving to Columbia from another state to become professional staff for the University of Missouri). He wasn't very keen on talking to me and seemed to be unplugged from the conversation so to speak. Usually, that's how most people talk to me when they don't really want to be talking.
Anyway, I find it so comical that I'm sitting here tonight and I happen to see him online and open his profile and read that he's now not single, but "Monogamously coupled" -- with the greatest guy on Earth.
I truely hope that this relationship of his works out but my senses tell me it isn't going to. I guess I'm just pessimistic.
So, here's where the Carrie Bradshaw question comes in. When we first enter a relationship with someone is it always the case that we find them "the greatest guy on Earth"? I would venture to say yes. Obviously this person interests you very much since you're now a couple -- but on the outside looking in, I find it kind of comical and lame that someone would think that about another person in a month in (or less) a relationship. I guess that makes me a bitch, but I don't really care. Fifteen months single, guys. |
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| betty ford clinic |
[Oct. 20th, 2004|07:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | listless | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Wicked - I'm Not That Girl | ] |
"The last misquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford Clinic." - Patsy Stone (Absolutely Fabulous)
Don't worry... I'm not on drugs and I haven't checked myself into the Betty Ford Clinic--yet.
I did however make an appointment with Patti Fleck, one of the counselors here at UMR to discuss my problems with being single. I don't think it's natural to be so depressed because I'm missing out on companionship -- and to be honest, it's actually gotten kind of better. I still need to work out some issues so I think it'll be nice to have a professional opinion on the matter. |
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| drama |
[Oct. 20th, 2004|02:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | okay | ] |
OK, so I've got a real piece to unload on everyone.
I'm a big flirt, we all know this. In my endless persuit for Mr. Right I started talking (and flirting) with a guy from Truman State on Monday. We get along pretty well and I decided that it would be nice to have someone to talk to while I walked to Rayl cafeteria for dinner lastnite... so I called him. Our conversation went great but it came time for me to eat dinner so I told him I would call him when dinner was over. I never expected what happened after dinner. I called him back expecting to build on the earlier conversation, however, someone else answered the phone this time and told me to call back in about five minutes. As soon as I hung up the phone I turned to my friend Josh and said "I think he has a boyfriend" and we continued on our merry way. In my infinate wisdom... I called back about ten minutes later. The same guy answered the phone and told me to hold on. I proceeded to stay on the line and hear the guy fly into a rage with the guy I had been talking to. Ugh. Finally, after about five minutes, the guy I originally talked to got on the phone and apologized to me. Apparently he had broken up with his boyfriend (who is also his roommate) a week prior and the boyfriend wasn't quite prepared for his man to move on. In short, I felt like an ass afterwards but continued to talk to him to make sure he was alright -- I do honestly care, I know that much.
But wait, it gets better.
Today I was chatting on gay.com and I get a message from a guy from Truman that I said hi to previously on one occasion, I'm like... cool... I don't normally get a private message from guys so far away so I checked out his profile. In relationship status it said "Single... on the rebound" and in the Buddy window it had a picture of the guy I had been talking to. I guessed right away that this was his boyfriend -- I freaked out, didn't know what was going to happen. It turned out okay... I didn't get bitched at our treated bad -- he was more interested in my intentions. He turned out to be a nice guy, actually... but at this point, I'm confused. I'm not sure if they'll allow me to talk to both of them -- as a friend of course... at this point I'm not interested in either one of them (I was never interested in the boyfriend). But at the same time, I feel loyalty to the guy I started talking to in the first place. Any advice on this matter would be awesome.
Lord have I got myself into a mess this time. |
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| question |
[Oct. 18th, 2004|08:26 pm] |
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Do people read this? |
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| Misjudged, unwanted |
[Oct. 16th, 2004|06:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
So, I return to rant. It's about time, eh?
So by the title you already know this one is going to be pretty heavy. I'll try not to disappoint you.
I don't like the fact that I'm misjudged a lot when it comes to my intentions. I need to make it very clear that when I say I want to watch a movie with someone, that's what I want to do. When I want to cuddle, that's what I want to do. When I want to have sex, I want to have sex. I'm that simple, I'm that cut and dry. It may be hard to believe but when I say I want to watch a movie and cuddle with you... that's all I want to do. It's stupid of me to say that and expect something else. That's asinine.
Moving to my second part of the title... unwanted. Whenever I do ask someone if they'd like to go see a movie with me or go to lunch... they always assume I'm looking for more. That's not true. People need to get over themselves and stop thinking that I want them. If I wanted to date you, I'd say that I wanted to take our friendship further. I don't like the fact that I sit alone in Rolla day after day, or alone at home in Jeff City weekend after weekend. I want friends... it looks as though I'm not going to get them, so I'll just shut up.
Anyway, I just needed to get that out. Thanks for reading.
Tim |
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| w00t |
[Oct. 16th, 2004|01:20 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | exanimate | ] |
One of those awful survey things... I had to do it, here it is.
1) Name: Timothy John Woemmel
2) Sex: Male
3) Birthday: March 9, 1984
4) Hair color: Dark dark brown with red tinge
5) Eye color: Blue
6) Sibling(s): Three older sisters
7) Song: "Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman
9) Actor: Mel Gibson
11) Movie: View From The Top
12) Clothing brand name: Burberry
13) Animal: My beautiful golden retriever Whitney.
14) Day of the week: Fridays.
15) Color: Green.
17) Store: Marshall Fields, State Street Chicago.
18) City: Atlanta, Georgia
19) Country: Russia (red square, come on guys)
20) Sport: College Football
21) Internet site: gay.com
22) Ice cream flavor: Haagen-Dazs Rum Raisin
23) Season: Autumn.
24) Holiday: Christmas.
25) Flower: Roses
26) Cartoon: Family Guy
27) Hobby: Reading, writing, watching movies, listening to music, hanging out with friends
28) Flavor: Vanilla.
29) Hot or cold: Cold
30) Sweet or sour: Sweet, generally.
31) Spicy or bland: BAM!
32) Half-full or half-empty: Half-full
33) Soft or hard: soft
34) Light or dark: dark
35) E-mail or letter: Do people write tangable letters anymore?
36) Phone or instant message: Phone
37) Day or night: Night
38) Radio or CD: CD
39) Rain or shine: Depends on the season.
40) Cat or dog: dog
41) Are you Hetero-/Homo-/Bi-sexual?: Homosexual.
42) Are you in love?: No
43) Are you in a relationship?: No
44) Have you gotten your first kiss?: No
45) What form of birth control do/would you use?: Condoms
46) Would/did you have sex before marriage? Duh.
47) Is there a difference between a crush and being in love?: Again, duh.
48) Do you believe in true love?: I'd like to think so.
49) Can long-distance relationships work?: I know they can. My parents had one.
50) Have you ever had a long-distance relationship?:Yeah.
51) Have you ever been in love?: I don't think so.
52) Have you had sex in the past and regretted it?: Ohhhhhh, yes.
53) How old were you when you got your first kiss?: 17
54) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?: No.
55) Have you ever been in love with someone so much that you've cried over them? No.
56) Have/would you ever see(n) an "X"-rated movie?: Duh. Gay porn's kinda funny. :)
57) Do you enjoy French-kissing?: Is there any other kind?
58) Would you (honestly) sacrifice your life for your beloved?: Ummm ... depends on how beloved the guy actually is.
59) What do you look for in a lover (physically)?: That's hard to describe, my type is my type.
60) What do you look for in lover(mentally/emotionally)?: Intelligence, spontaniety, humor.. fun stuff.
61) Have you ever dumped someone?: Yeah
62) Have you ever been dumped?: Uh-huh. But I recovered, too.
63) Have you ever had your heart broken?: I don't think you're a person if you haven't.
64) Are you (honestly) afraid of commitment?: Not anymore.
65) Are you attracted to people with accents?: Oh yes.
67) Do you drink?: Yeah.
68) How often do you shower?: At least once a day.
69) Do you trust others easily?: Perhaps more than I should.
Physical appearance
1. What do you most like about your body? I have a nice butt.
2. And least? My gut :(
3. How many fillings do you have? None
4. Do you think you're good looking? I'm attractive, yeah.
5. Do other people often tell you that you're good-looking? It depends on what they want from me.
6. Do you look like any celebrities? Yeah.. I get two... Toby Maguire and Jack Osbourne. Wouldn't mind being the former. Fuck
the people that say the latter.
Fashion
1. Do you wear a watch? Never
2. How many coats and jackets do you own? 4
3. Favorite pants/skirt color? Dirty jeans, w00t.
4. Most expensive item of clothing? Pull-over from Banana Republic... $90
5. Most treasured? Gap Jeans
6. What kind of shoes do you wear? Depends on my outfit
7. Describe your style in one word: Trendy
Your friends
1. Do your friends 'know' you? My best friend knows me pretty well, and he's quick to point out when I'm not myself.
2. What do they tend to be like? I have friends that don't sugar coat shit, they tell me how it is. I prefer that.
3. Are there traits in you that are universally liked? People think I'm funny and fun to be around. *shrug*
4. How many people do you tell everything to? Only a few I tell everything. If I told you who they were, you'd figure out my
secrets.
5. How many people tell you everything? Lots
Love
1. Are you in a relationship right now? No
2. Rate it on a scale from 1-10:
3. How 'far' have you been?
4. What song reminds you of your special someone?
5. Have you ever loved a person so much that it hurt? No.
6. How many people do you say 'I love you' to on a daily basis? A few. Family members.
7. Have you ever cheated on your significant other?
8. If not, would you ever if given the chance with the guy/girl of your dreams?
Music/TV/Film/Books
1. Favorite band ever? Journey
2. Most listened to bands: Whatever comes up in my playlist
3. Do you find any musicians good-looking? Yeah, but why look at them all the time if I can't have them?
4. Can you play an instrument? No
5. Type of music most listened to? Rap. :)
6. Type never listened to? Indie rock
7. Favorite book? The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
Underwear
1. Ladies, do you like to wear thongs?
2. If so why?
3. Boxers or Briefs? Briefs
5. What is the nicest colour for underwear? Black
6. Do you find it uncomfortable without a bra?
7. Do your bras fit properly?
8. Do you ever wear a vest? No
9. Do you make it a habit of showing people your underwear? Sometimes. |
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| my life sucks, for real |
[Sep. 25th, 2004|02:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
First off, I live in Rolla, Missouri. How depressing is that? I don't even know why there's a college campus in this shithole of a town. If you're not familiar with Rolla, it's a town of about 17,000 people an hour and a half southwest from St. Louis, an hour south of Jefferson City and about an hour and a half east of Springfield. Where does that put Rolla? In the middle of nowhere. Being in the middle of nowhere is stupid, not to mention the fact that the townies (Rolla folk) hate hate hate students. The town is also homophobic as all get out. That's stupid.
I'm done complaining about Rolla. Everyone does it. I'm just so sick of being depressed and walking around campus in the middle of the night crying my eyes out because Rolla can suck the life out of you, or suffocate you.
So, I decided that this will be my final semester at UMR. Where am I going from here you may ask? The truth is I don't rightly know. I do know, however, that any place will be better than UMR. I've narrowed where I'll be in January to a few options. One of these options, however, I would not like to consider an option at all.
The first option is North Park University in Chicago. I was accepted to this school last year and they gave me a shitload of money to go there. However, I had already committed to UMR. The second option is Mizzou in Columbia. The third and final option is staying at home and finishing school at Lincoln. That's the option I don't want to consider.
Teresa, my middle sister (I'm the youngest of four kids and only boy) told me to write down my pros and cons of each location, including Rolla. I was told then to score the pros and cons and that way I would have the options clearly laid out in front of me. Chicago won on a landslide victory. Rolla got a score of -3.
I'm not sure how a town can score that low. That's horrible.
So, I'd like to say that my future is in Chicago but I'm not sure. I'm not going to tell anyone I'm leaving for sure this time because I don't want to look like an ass if it doesn't happen. There are many financial obstacles in moving to a city like Chicago -- not to mention the fact that I'm not quite used to the hustle and bustle of a huge city. I'm sure I could adapt, but it's all a little scary for me right now.
Anyway, I just needed to get some of what's wearing on my mind out... Thanks for reading. :) |
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| i'm a person, damn it |
[Sep. 24th, 2004|09:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
So, there's a few things in this world that just completely aggravate the hell out of me. One of them is being ignored. Whether by the wonders of IM or in person being ignored is a sure-fire way to piss me off.
I want to know what kind of people put someone on ignore on IM in the first place? Especially when the reason hasn't been explained. I realize that sometimes I can come off as a total cunt, but that's just my personality. Before you do a stupid, childish thing like putting me on ignore you should probably tell me what made you so mad so I can fix things if neccesary.
Though, if all it takes is a few lines of text to piss you off... you're probably not worth the time or effort it takes for me to make an apology. That's just how I feel. Don't be a douche. |
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| speed so fast it felt like i was drunk |
[Jul. 25th, 2004|06:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Tracy Chapman - Fast Car | ] |
i'm sitting here contemplating while listening to tracy chapman's "fast car". i can't help but think about all of the wonderful things people have done for me in the past. those moments far outweigh the shit that has happened to me in the past. today is definately a day of reflection for me. so many people have treated me so well. i'm thankful for this. for those that i've been a total jerk to, i do apologize to you. i know that most of them will not be reading this but it's something i honestly mean. while i don't regret events that have happened in the past (these are experiences in which i believe i have grown into a more respectable person from) i certainly doubt the actions i may have taken. i have a smile on my face listening to this song... i traveled four hours to meet a guy once and out of his busy schedule he showed me around his home town and he played this song over and over again. i'll never forget those three days. i can never pay back what he gave to me and i'm deeply saddened that our friendship couldn't turn into something more (all thanks to me). but in retrospect i do believe things happen for a reason. shortly after i left he met the man of his dreams, whom he is still with. that's now approaching two years. so, while i sit here reflecting the past few years of my life as a gay man... i dedicate this song to him.
you got a fast car
i got a plan to get us out of here
been workin at the convenience store
managed to save just a little bit of money
won't have to drive too far
just cross the border, head into the city
you and i can both get jobs and finally see what it means to be living... |
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| i like the way that feels |
[Jul. 24th, 2004|05:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nerdy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ashlee Simpson - Pieces of Me | ] |
hi kids... i'm feeling much better than i was lastnite. thanks to a few comments from friends i don't feel like a big huge pile of steaming dog shit... which is fabulous :) in other news, martha is prepared to surrender to prison authorities this week to serve her jail time. i feel so sorry for her -- which is a change. i used to hate the bitch, however, somehow i think she got more than she deserved this time. maybe i'll send her letters or something. anyway, i feel sort of inspired by this song... and i'm not sure why because it's ashlee simpson (total commercial you're supposed to like her because her sister is jessica) but i don't care. here goes:
with you i fall so fast
i can hardly catch my breath
i hope it lasts
oooooooooh...
it seems like i can finally rest my head on something real
i like the way that feels
oooooh its as if you know me better than i ever knew myself
i love how you can tell
all the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
all the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
i am moody, messy, i get restless and its senseless
you never seem to care
when im angry you listen
make me happy is your mission
and you wont stop till im there |
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| i've signed up for an emotional rollercoaster |
[Jul. 23rd, 2004|11:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | guilty | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Peter Gabriel - In Your Eyes | ] |
... and i'm next in line. well, i haven't updated for a little bit... project tim.my is going pretty well, i'm exploring my psyche deeper than i could've ever imagined. but, now i've got more on my plate than i've ever dreamed of. i'm scared to death. yesterday i started talking to someone i haven't talked to in months -- mainly because he was dating someone and i didn't want to intrude on anything... however i wish i had taken the offer for friendship months ago because he's a really great guy. and well, he's still with his significant other (going on two and a half years) and unbeknowngst to me, they're married. i certainly wish i had known that in the first place. so what is the reason for this entry? i like this guy, i liked him when i first started talking to him months ago... i like him even more now. he stimulates my intellect and he's sweet to me. but he's married. he tells me his relationship isn't going well these days, but i'm not inclined to give him the advice to end it. but i did anyway. i'm a horrible person. i can't stand the way i feel right now. i feel like a homewrecker even though i've wrecked no home. i just can't imagine anyone ever liking me enough to give up on something that has weathered two and half years. i know if their relationship falls apart it's not my fault, but somehow it feels as though i might be helping the failure along. i've expressed these concerns to him -- he had no comforting words for me. i feel lost. i really like this guy, but he's taken. i'm willing to put in the effort and be patient and see if their relationship holds up. if it does, that's great for them. i will be happy for the both of them and keep looking elsewhere. however, if their relationship fails i will be there for the person in question as his friend until he can fully recover from his lost love -- and then see where it goes from there. this could take months. i'm not sure if i'm up for a ride like this. comments would be appreciated. |
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| flawless... absolutely flawless |
[Jul. 21st, 2004|04:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hopeful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | George Michael - Flawless | ] |
HI EVERYBODY! i'm in a really great mood, obviously... that's a good thing. martha would approve. i've been talking to this really great guy on gay.com for a couple of weeks now and even though he's seen my picture it seems like he's into me a lot. it kind of makes me frightened, though. i shouldn't be frightened because i know i reeled him in with charm and i honestly think that this time (for once) looks aren't a major factor. this guy has renewed my faith in the gay male. he's the perfect match for me... sweet, talented, charming and cute. i want to say that he's out of my league, unattainable even -- but something about the way he talks to me makes me think otherwise. i'm really excited that a guy of such a high caliber is actually interested in me. whether this turns out as us just being really great friends or my future husband -- i'm excited about the future. this is a very happy day for me. |
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| i miss mayberry |
[Jul. 19th, 2004|04:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  worried | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Rascal Flatts - Mayberry | ] |
what is wrong with my self-image exactly? why do i think so poorly of myself? obviously i'm an intelligent, sweet, charming guy. however, that doesn't matter to most of the people i go out on dates with. that's not my fault and i shouldn't care, but the fact of the matter is -- i do. i think what i need to do is stop caring about what people think about me and just go on and live my life the way i see fit. why is that so hard? i just want people to like me... i want people to think i'm funny, think i'm cute, think i deserve a second date. the truth of the matter is a select few of the male specimens in the central missouri area are worth dating. the rest of the gay population doesn't deserve someone like me -- someone that will take care of them when they are sick, listen to them when they need to talk, be there for them when something bad happens and of course cherish the good times. realizing that makes me feel a little bit better, but it still doesn't help the situation i'm in. august is coming up and i will have been single for a calandar year. its tough not having someone to share my moments with... but i'm still alive. at least i have my friends, that's the important thing to remember. |
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